My sweet six-year-old Morgan... Happy Birthday, tootsie lou! I am aware that what I'm about to say probably appears in all your previous birthday letters, but... the changes that you have experienced in the last year are remarkable.
Taller, quicker, smarter, braver, stronger.
I've sensed a pattern in your milestones. It seems each event that is repeated builds trust with your soul. We spent many hot afternoons at our friends' pool, and by the end of the summer, you dared to leave the raft and dip into the water. Your visits to the dentist went from a mere counting of the teeth to a full cleaning. Walking to and from Children's Church alone suddenly became a piece of cake.
Because you observe before committing, you're not the first one to raise your hand. And it's why I believe repetition is so important to you in achieving comfort.
It's when you are bold and brazen and sassy and goofy, Morgan, that I know you are truly relaxed. So far gone that you don't just abide by the limits, but attempt to override them and see where your actions will get you. It's also in those moments that we get to see your confidence in your own leadership. Your desire to be first and best intersects with your certainty, and a confident little girl emerges.
You are so smart, and the way your brain organizes information is so amazing. Daddy thinks you have a photographic memory; I think God designed your thoughts to be processed in such an organized way that knowledge comes easy. It is evident when you recite your class list, recall the details of your day, or count by twos, five and tens.
Kindergarten has been straightforward for you in terms of learning. You started the year with a personal reading goal. So often you asked, "When will I learn how to read?" Well, my dear, the time has arrived. You read our family devotions almost every other night after dinner. You inhale library books in one afternoon. You read billboards, news headlines, any combination of letters that form words. While it's an accomplishment that Daddy and I are happy you enjoy, it is also a skill that will expose you to so much more of the world that, until this point, we have been able to protect you from.
Matthew was born during your first week of school, and having the consistency of a daily routine seemed to make that adjustment easy. You have a sweet sensitivity towards your baby brother and it shows. From the time he was first able, Matthew has smiled back at you. Even in times of sadness, you are eager to calm his tears by speaking gentle words or making silly faces in an attempt to - as Daddy would say - turn his frown upside down. Matthew has such an affection for you and I am looking forward to watching your relationship with him grow.
You once felt the same about Andrew. While it's more difficult to notice these days, and probably hard for you to believe, Andrew admires you, too. He wants to be like you, Morgan. He really does. I know sometimes he seems like that annoying little brother you sing about in the VeggieTales movie
Princess and the Popstar, but he looks up to you. He watches your moves, studies your choices, and has a very strong desire to be your age so he, too, can go to Kindergarten, count money, read books on his own, comprehend time, dribble a basketball, brush his own teeth, reach the high pantry shelf... all of the things his older sister does.
The two of you have a big-kid connection, though. You are able to play together so nicely sometimes. In the basement I hear you two driving cars. Or in the bedroom you currently share, you'll haul in toys and head off on an adventure on your beds. Only when your head takes over your heart does the arguing start. Your desire to impart your six years of life-knowledge on your three-year-old brother creates conflict - you want to be right, he does not want to be corrected. Enjoy the moment and don't be concerned about perfection. Good advice from someone who still struggles with letting go.
I know your relationship with Andrew will change when you start first grade, off to school for a full day, leaving the boys at home with Mommy. And our moments together will shift, too. For now, we try to enjoy time together alone. "Just the girls," you say to me. Right now our trips to the store or to run an errand are how we get away. I'm hopeful that in the year ahead, we have more special time together, just the two of us.
What else can I tell you about the past year? You fell in love with snow, lost your two bottom baby teeth and became seriously ill for the first time in your life. You were out for three days prior to Christmas break, missing the school program and your chance to sing Angels We Have Heard On High in front of a packed church. I was more devastated than you ever could have been. We watched the live stream from the couch that night, and you beautifully sang every word of every song in the entire program. Safe, out of the spotlight.
Your music tastes have graduated from VeggieTales and Cedarmont Kids to TobyMac and Britt Nicole. If it's streaming on KLOVE at quiet time, it's a hit with you. Just two measures into a song and you can rattle off the artist and title as if it were written in front of you. Sometimes you even know the album. Music triggers your brain like nothing else does. For your birthday this year, Daddy and I are taking you to Winter Jam to see some of your favorite artists perform. I hope you love it as much as I anticipate.
There are so many full-circle moments for me as your mom and as my mother's daughter... Like when others look at you and assume you're older, the way they once looked at me. When you stick your nose up at an adorable, hand-sewn, made-by-your-mother dress, the same way I did. When you teeter on the edge of demanding, something I am not sure ever leaves the eldest daughter. These are things you will only understand when you, too, have children of your own. For now, these moments with you remind me of the way I once was and give me insight to how my own mother gained all of her amazing wisdom with years of parenting.
Morgan, I want you to know that I love you dearly. I love you silly, serious, and everything in between. As you grow older it will be more difficult to understand my love. You will struggle to figure out why love feels so restricting and rule-following. You will not be able to comprehend how love could tell you no or put limits on your choices. But believe me when I tell you it is love. Daddy and I love you fiercely.
You an amazing girl full of gifts and talents, some that may have yet to be discovered. Despite your aversion for hearing these words, I will tell you anyways: Daddy and I are PROUD of you! Not because of the way you color in the lines, not because you can tie your own shoes, not because you eat carrots without complaining, not because you pray the Lord's Prayer with us at church... for no other reason than this: you are ours. Regardless of your achievements - big, little, or otherwise - we are honored that God has chosen us to be your parents.
As every new twist and turn comes, Morgan, I pray that you seek God to guide you through the fears, talk to Daddy and I when the questions arise, and make choices that are valuable to shaping your future.
I love you to pieces,
Mommy
Above all else, guard
your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23
