Dear Matthew,
Happy 4th birthday! I think everyone we've encountered today knows it's your special day.
I realize that by turning four, you won't immediately change into some well-behaved, proper young boy, but I'm glad we've arrived. If I'm being honest, parts of this last year have been challenging to parent you as you plow through life.
You are full throttle, full steam ahead, all cylinders are running. You wake up in the morning refueled, ready to wrestle, talk, DO. It's no wonder you fall asleep at 7:00 every night without any hesitation. Your energy is relentless.
One of your best attributes (and perhaps downfalls) is your social fearlessness. When it comes to conversations, there's never a hesitation, not for a second. One Sunday at the communion rail as an elder passed the wine cups, you blurted out "Hey, can I have one of those?" Every other week at Meijer it's "Why are you buying those carrots?" to the lady in produce, or "Hey, is that your mom???" or "Hi guys!" to the little boys in the shopping cart next to us, as if you're already best friends. You don't yet understand the dangers of talking to strangers, and when I ask you to stop, your response is one of confusion and frustration: "But Mom, I like talking to people," you plead. It's true. You will talk to almost anyone and it's both refreshing and scary.
You see no color, no age, no barriers in being social and I find it fascinating to watch. Conversations with GG are some of your favorites. You are oblivious to her memory lapses and repeated questions, happily answering and sharing and visiting, pleased to bend someone else'e ear.You also know so many people from our Trinity family and easily share what's on your mind with those in our circle. I love this about you, and hope you know that as you grow, these people we do life with are the ones you can go to in confidence.
Because we are at church and school six or seven days a week, you are incredibly comfortable there. So comfortable, in fact, that you often take off, going where you please without me. You'll walk into the teacher lounge, the school office, chat it up with the custodian in his supply closet, it makes no difference as long as the destination involves more people. And I'm that mom who's always telling her kid to "get over here!" or "come back right now!" to no avail.
There were so many moments this last year where my warnings against your independence were not in time. One morning you found me in the crowded school hallway, your hands covered in a strange green substance. Before I ever realized you left my side, you had put your fingers into a 5th grader's solar system made of frosted cupcakes, an ungraded project that had just arrived at school moments before. (For the record, I forced you to explain and apologize to both the student and the teacher with the evidence all over your hands, and was secretly pleased to see your mortified face, a sign that the consequences of your actions were sinking in.)
Thankfully in January I was able to abort your mission before it ever took off. I specifically remember my mouth opening and emitting a sound I had never heard before - a half-scream, half-yell "no"!!! Your hand was ON the fire alarm, one second away from pulling the red handle down and evacuating the church, school and early childhood center. It took me a good hour to recover from that moment, although I'm certain this will not be the last time I experience panic because of your exploration.
Because you are so independent, you seem to have trouble tuning in to your parents. You love helping yourself to the contents of the refrigerator, permanent markers or crafts, LIFE. Dad and I have tried time outs, losing privileges, earning rewards, all of it. Unfortunately, lessons for you seem to be learned only by doing. I can tell you ten times not to walk in front of the swings, but once you get bonked in the head, it suddenly sinks in. Physical consequences are the best teaching tools for you.
Boundaries are just difficult for you to respect and I think the reasons are two-fold. For starters, you are a four year old male. I once heard a speaker with a background in child development say that if you ask a boy why he did something, he will most likely say "I don't know" and truly not know. This is you. Why did you spit in spit in someone's hair? You honestly don't know.
I also think your decisions are made impulsively with no comprehension about what the result of your actions will be. Thinking beyond the action just isn't there. And also? You don't really care. Playing outside in your unders? Who cares. Leaving your train on the rear bumper of the van? Never thought it would get run over.
However, it's not all mayhem and meltdowns with you, Matthew. You have a very creative mind. When you become fearful of being alone, you often mention that you will think about tornadoes or lizards or some other perceived threat while we are apart and how scary that will be. Some mornings you wake up and describe your dreams with great detail - dreams that I'm not certain you really remember, but rather concoct out of thin air based on the things that are in front of you in that moment. From your seat in the car you see all sorts of objects and animals in the puffy clouds above. You've gotten really good at making up stories, too, to the point where I'm not sure if I believe you. So often you end with, "I'm just kidding." It's probably time you learn about the boy who cried wolf.
Green is still your favorite color and for the last year, every preschool project, every painting, coloring, craft of any kind has been in this color. "Gween is my fav-wit," you tell me.
Trains. Enough said.
There's been a remarkable and almost sudden change in your letter/number recognition, your ability to hold pencils and markers correctly, your counting skills, and interest in books. You love being read to and it's the only thing that captivates you for long stretches of being still.
I don't think preschool can be credited for all your new academic skills, although you did have ball there with another little boy of the same name. You and Matthew J. are preschool pals. You both share a fondness for Thomas the Train that is pretty epic and play together as if no one else exists in the classroom. On the Sunday School scene, Adrienne is your go-to friend. Another baby of the family, she plays like you, and has a free spirit that is attractive to your wild side. So far you are batting 1000 in the friendship circle - we like your friends and their parents.
Coordination seems pretty advanced for a kid your age. You're free of training wheels, strong, you've been jumping great heights, Could it be that your power packed body is also just as athletic? It's funny, though - or not so funny - that when it comes to tasks like getting dressed or using the bathroom. Your profess that your abilities have taken a leave of absence and suddenly you are unable (read: unwilling) to handle such needs.
A recent line of yours is "but I like being with parents." Since when?? This refers to your sudden fear of being alone. And it's not just a specific place in the house. Perhaps your awareness of your surroundings has broadened? I'm not exactly sure, but hoping it's a phase. This may also be what affects your sleep every night. It seems like your worst dreaming happens at 4 or 5 in the morning. Often you wake up and rush into our bedroom, still half asleep talking about things we can't understand. To encourage you and preserve our sleep, we covered the digital minutes on the clock and told you to stay in the bed until you see a 6. To our delight, it worked.
You have a thing for babies, a love of ice cream, and a special silky tag on the corner of your blanket that mindlessly soothes like nothing else. You also have a desire to be the star of your own show. Every stoop, step or elevated structure is your stage, another opportunity to speak your mind to the masses.
Morgan is the one you model your attitude after. You are picking up her tones, words and actions when it comes to communication with your family. You also defer to Morgan when it comes to making decisions for yourself. If she chooses Superman ice cream, that's what you'll have. If you're asked first about what game to play, you ask Morgan what she would choose. I suppose if you're going to be influenced, Morgan's a good one to follow.
As for Andrew, you two are comrades for sure. Always in the yard fighting off imaginary enemies, or riding bikes together, or goofing off in the house. It takes a bit of effort to get between the brotherhood.
While Morgan and Andrew can be fun playmates and I may be the one you spend the most time with, Dad is your ultimate buddy. You prefer him hands down for everything. Reading books, getting changed, brushing teeth, playing games. It's his lap, his arms, his time, and his affection you value most.
It certainly has been an interesting year, Matthew. I could use all of the common cliches to describe you - pistol, firecracker, free spirit - I've heard them all. But you are so much more than that. This year with you has given me such hope about your future. You aren't quiet, meek, reserved or tight-lipped. You are unashamed, truthful, a game-changer. I believe with all my heart that you will do great things in your lifetime. And my prayer is that you keep Christ for that journey. As GG always says, "Take the Lord with you." Indeed, Matthew. Take the Lord.
I love you,
Mom
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
There's been a remarkable and almost sudden change in your letter/number recognition, your ability to hold pencils and markers correctly, your counting skills, and interest in books. You love being read to and it's the only thing that captivates you for long stretches of being still.
I don't think preschool can be credited for all your new academic skills, although you did have ball there with another little boy of the same name. You and Matthew J. are preschool pals. You both share a fondness for Thomas the Train that is pretty epic and play together as if no one else exists in the classroom. On the Sunday School scene, Adrienne is your go-to friend. Another baby of the family, she plays like you, and has a free spirit that is attractive to your wild side. So far you are batting 1000 in the friendship circle - we like your friends and their parents.
Coordination seems pretty advanced for a kid your age. You're free of training wheels, strong, you've been jumping great heights, Could it be that your power packed body is also just as athletic? It's funny, though - or not so funny - that when it comes to tasks like getting dressed or using the bathroom. Your profess that your abilities have taken a leave of absence and suddenly you are unable (read: unwilling) to handle such needs.
A recent line of yours is "but I like being with parents." Since when?? This refers to your sudden fear of being alone. And it's not just a specific place in the house. Perhaps your awareness of your surroundings has broadened? I'm not exactly sure, but hoping it's a phase. This may also be what affects your sleep every night. It seems like your worst dreaming happens at 4 or 5 in the morning. Often you wake up and rush into our bedroom, still half asleep talking about things we can't understand. To encourage you and preserve our sleep, we covered the digital minutes on the clock and told you to stay in the bed until you see a 6. To our delight, it worked.
You have a thing for babies, a love of ice cream, and a special silky tag on the corner of your blanket that mindlessly soothes like nothing else. You also have a desire to be the star of your own show. Every stoop, step or elevated structure is your stage, another opportunity to speak your mind to the masses.
Most of our family pictures now require three or four takes because we constantly have to ask you to stop performing. If it's not a show, it's a goofy face, stuck-out tongue or crotch grab. It would be nice to just have your beautiful smile. Please.
Morgan is the one you model your attitude after. You are picking up her tones, words and actions when it comes to communication with your family. You also defer to Morgan when it comes to making decisions for yourself. If she chooses Superman ice cream, that's what you'll have. If you're asked first about what game to play, you ask Morgan what she would choose. I suppose if you're going to be influenced, Morgan's a good one to follow.
As for Andrew, you two are comrades for sure. Always in the yard fighting off imaginary enemies, or riding bikes together, or goofing off in the house. It takes a bit of effort to get between the brotherhood.
While Morgan and Andrew can be fun playmates and I may be the one you spend the most time with, Dad is your ultimate buddy. You prefer him hands down for everything. Reading books, getting changed, brushing teeth, playing games. It's his lap, his arms, his time, and his affection you value most.
It certainly has been an interesting year, Matthew. I could use all of the common cliches to describe you - pistol, firecracker, free spirit - I've heard them all. But you are so much more than that. This year with you has given me such hope about your future. You aren't quiet, meek, reserved or tight-lipped. You are unashamed, truthful, a game-changer. I believe with all my heart that you will do great things in your lifetime. And my prayer is that you keep Christ for that journey. As GG always says, "Take the Lord with you." Indeed, Matthew. Take the Lord.
I love you,
Mom
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
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