five years

Dear Andrew,

Happy, happy birthday! You are five today! And you are beyond thrilled, telling everyone what a special day it is.

It's been such a pivotal year for you. Sometimes it seems you're still the same kid from twelve months ago, but that's just not the case. You can ride a two-wheeler without training wheels and pump yourself on the swings. You can run harder, faster and longer than ever before. And you've grown so much - over 46 inches tall!

Your year started with a love for the Mister Rogers spin-off on PBS, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. By the end, you wanted Food Network's Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. You found her family life on a ranch just as appealing as her recipes. And it's no surprise - you love cooking, being in the kitchen with me, spreading butter, cutting veggies, measuring and pouring. You are such a tactile kid, Andrew, always wanting to "muss" in the dirt, your food, rocks, with your brother. I'm forever reminding you to keep your hands to yourself, to eat the food, not play with it, to wash up.

Boyhood is so fun for you. Sports and forts, outdoor quests, I never want these days to end. Your exploration and fascination for creation is limitless. Just a few days ago you ran to me, "Mom! You've got to see this most amazing thing!!!" Hundreds of ants working in the crack of the sidewalk captivated your attention. I love this about you, Andrew. You are amazed at God's design each and every day, in awe of how life works.

Daddy usually accompanies you on any number of adventures and offers up the best advice on how to achieve success with any given activity. Bowling, sledding, shooting hoops, creating castles at the beach - he's got a method to share. Sometimes you take his teachings to heart. Other times you insist on doing it alone. Either way, he's standing there with you until the end.

These action-packed exploits, however, wear you thin. Because you no longer nap, late afternoons are trying. Sometimes you sneak away to a quiet place and curl up with a pile of covers. Most times I find you fast asleep, shoes still on underneath the blankets.























To help pass times of boredom or get you from sleeping boy to dinnertime in one piece, we take selfies, you and I. And we have fun doing it. Looking back at our pictures makes me smile. And it's one of your favorite past times, scrolling through photos of our family on my phone, the laptop, anywhere. You'll replay footage more times than I can count, pausing certain points, then starting over again.

Your are still fascinated with vehicles. It's just your thing. When other people come to visit or play, you ask to see inside their cars/vans/trucks, and not just see, but buckle in, sit at the wheel, and check out the controls. You want a real feel for what it would be like to operate such an awesome set of wheels. Every few months you try to grasp the distance between now and age 16, asking how long it will take to reach that milestone birthday.


















For now, though, the focus is on the year ahead. In just a few weeks you'll be headed to Young Five's, a choice that Daddy and I really struggled to make. We want to do right by you, Andrew. We want the choices we make for you - the choices that will affect your entire life - to be the right ones. In short, we don't want to screw things up. It's not that you lack the academic ability to succeed in Kindergarten this year. In fact, your teacher last year told us you wrote the best letters of any boy in your class. It's just that the emotional side of you has yet to catch up with the amazing stuff going on in your brain.

I'm going to be honest here, Andrew. You are a brave little boy. So brave. Your injuries are only painful for ten seconds. You're willing to jump off the diving board and become completely submerged under the water. You'll try almost anything. But your highs are high, and your lows are so low. Devastatingly low. Sometimes it's only your thumb that can right the wrongs. The pain you feel is never external, but on the inside, crushing. Maybe it's immaturity, maybe it's personality, maybe it's birth order. Whatever the case, I can see how your make-up has affected your very being, especially your relationship with your best buddy Caleb. Other than your siblings, he's the only friend that can coerce you down the wrong path, hurt your feelings, and still come out on top. You love him so. We love his family. You are happy to invest in his ideas, quick to forgive him, and often share exactly what "Caleb says..." So when we learned that he would go on to Kindergarten without you, it stung. And yet, I believe that God designed your life to split from his, to go in a different direction, so that friendships can be added and you'll be able to lead, not just follow.

You get to practice that leadership when Morgan is away. Matthew loves to be your shadow, especially when you decide to do something against the grain. He's looking for an excuse to try the same adventurous path you're on and you happily blaze that trail. This year your brotherhood will be even more solidified as the time you spend together will increase.

As for Morgan, well, that dynamic remains the same for now. You're the button-pusher and she's the victim. Or most often, she calls the shots and you do as you're told. One day you'll wise up and stop taking all that first-born instruction. Just ask Aunt Sarah. It will hurt Morgan, but it's only temporary. Don't let your accommodating personality get in the way of what you really need, Andrew. That skill will serve you well in the future. 

It's crazy for me to imagine you as a tween, teen, or even an adult. Although sometimes I have to remind myself that you are JUST FOUR. Or now, JUST FIVE. Five years old. Bring those expectations back down, Momma. While you excel at many, many things that other kids your age are still working through, I never want to forget that you're FIVE. Five is young enough to wrestle with after dinner. Five is young enough to carry in my arms. Five is young enough to smother with goodnight kisses.



Every day a ridiculous amount of thoughts roll around in your head and spill out of your mouth. Most include descriptive replays of your dreams, of injury-producing incidents on the sidewalk, of injustices you suffered because of your siblings. But alongside those accounts come sweet, sweet words from you, Andrew. Sincere, genuine, truthful words. "This is the best dinner ever!" or "Dad's not awesome, he's fun to play with!" or any number of manner-laced sentences bubbling over with appreciation. It's with a pure heart that you pray as you ask God for help in overcoming obstacles or keeping away thunderstorms. What makes that all so special, Andrew, is that it's unprompted. It's not contrived or expected or any sort of obligation. It's just you.

My guess is you'll always be in love with cars, you'll always paint your stories (not point), and you'll always light up a room with your sweet smile. But I hope and pray that you'll always be as earnest and heartfelt as you are at this age.

Andrew, you are an incredible blessing to our family. Happy birthday to the sweetest, most sincere, little guy I know. I love you to pieces. 

Always,

Mom

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. 

James 3: 17-18